The utopia of a life offline
Confession: I don't want to be chained to my phone but I don't know how to live without it.
Chronically online
I have been online for the past 10+ years of my life. I’ve shared bits and pieces of my life through Myspace, Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, Tiktok, BeReal, Linkedin and now
. Like many people in my generation, I became addicted to the rush of dopamine that likes, comments and messages provide after posting a selfie, a pic of what I am eating, or a snapshot of my travel adventures. Instant gratification. I have attempted (and failed) to do social media detox before but it never lasts.
I got access to the internet when I was around 12, and I was very late to the game. Crazy to think of all the new generations that are literally growing with an iPad in their hands (iPad babies!). I remember being so mad at my parents and feeling so isolated when all my friends were already on Myspace and I didn’t have internet at home. Looking back, I feel immensely grateful that I had a real childhood, where I got to play in the street, in the dirt and have a lot of toys and friends to share them with.
It wasn’t really until my late 20s that I started questioning my relationship with the Internet, particularly social media. I remember writing in my journal in 2022 an entry about what a life offline could be like and I still think about it from time to time.
Because I love list-making, here is my list of the cons and pros of leaving social media for good.
Pros:
More mental and physical energy since I won’t be spending 3-4 hours (that is my current screening time according to my phone ⚰️) of my day looking at my phone screen
Less comparing myself to people on the internet
More time to do things in real life
Cons:
I will miss out on close friends and family lives and updates
I won’t be able to make new Internet friends and meet with them in real life!
I won’t be updated on the matters of the world, which is a total privilege and feels irresponsible
I won’t be able to monetize a following or promote this newsletter
While I don’t think I am ready to leave social media behind, I wanted to share a few things I have been doing in the past couple of years to change my relationship with the internet.
No phone rule, at least one hour after waking up: I added this in the first place because I think is one of the most important things to protect your brain from all the noise out there. If I am honest, I totallllly suck at this one. I am addicted to checking WhatsApp, my personal Gmail account (eeeek) and my Instagram (in that order every day) as soon as I open my eyes. I am cringing as I type this but hopefully sharing with you will keep me accountable to stop this habit.
No phone rule before going to sleep: I know, I am annoying, but this works! It’s hard to break this habit though. But what if instead of spending the last hours before going to sleep scrolling to endless Tiktoks with information that you don’t need or won’t retain at that time of the day, you spend it reading something that interests you, talking with your partner, writing on your notebook or praying to the universe. I don’t know! The point here is to reduce stimuli so you prepare your body to rest.
Protect your following: I have been doing this for years and is what somehow protects my energy and allows me to only consume content I care about. Periodically, I will unfollow people I no longer resonate with, or I simply don’t align or care anymore about what they have to share. Simply as that! This includes influencers, content creators, or old high school people that I never even liked in the first place.
An analog life: Write more letters! Get a CD player! Call people more rather than texting them! Buy a clock so you don’t have to set an alarm on your phone!
Handwritten letters are a love language! Get a digital camera: It doesn’t have to be an expensive one, I saw one in Marketplace for like 15 bucks and honestly, it will allow you to forget about your phone. It is also more fun and special to take a look at the photos your old little camera takes.
Practice being present: We all have been that person who is using their phone while the other person is speaking. Scrolling on TikTok or Instagram while engaged in a conversation. This is a call to action for all of us to stop that shit. It is disrespectful to you and those who are making the time to be with you.
Here is a challenge for all of us
Back in March, I decided to go to Vancouver Island for my birthday. I challenged myself to not bring my phone along for the trip and to carry my digital camera only. I have been documenting every trip of my life since I can remember. When I was 9 my mom gave me my first camera, a small digital Sony that I took with us to our first family trip to Disneyland. Not documenting my 27th birthday trip on social media felt excruciating. There is this saying that goes ‘If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?’. If I wasn’t posting about all the fun I was having for my birthday, was I really having fun?
I challenge you to make one of your next trips offline. You never know what might come out of it.
Here are some photos I took on my trip with my camera, I am actually very proud of how this came out but mostly proud of making it out my first offline adventure.
Final thoughts
Being online has brought the most incredible things to my life, like meeting some of my best friends, and getting remote work opportunities that I wouldn't be able to get otherwise. Today, I am ready to build a more healthy relationship with the internet, so that it doesn’t control me and leaves me empty. Excited to keep sharing more about this journey with all of you.
Would love to read about your experience being online and how you are protecting your energy in the digital era. Please let me know in the comments!
This song. Period!
2. My new ceramic plates from my favorite Vancouver potter, Sa mesa ceramics. They are incredibly cute. I enjoy looking at my kitchen shelf and seeing all the mix-and-match cups and plates that I have collected throughout the years. Let me know if you would like to see my collection!
A book that is changing the way I communicate. Radical Candor is the book I wished I read at the beginning of my career.
Taking care of my plants. I remember when I first moved to my current apartment and had no plants to take care of. I think that is another newsletter issue in itself because I have so many tips on how to grow a garden, but just look at how gorg my babies are getting!
Blue eyeshadow. Do I need to say more? 🥵 My fellow Pisces Rihanna, confirmed in her Interview Magazine that blue shadow is what’s hot for 2024.
IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR, I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU<3
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79 likes? 15 comments?! You got some magic going here!!! Love this so much.
I resonate with this so much. I'm tired of social media and glad it wasn't around when we were kids. I try my best to get offline as much as possible now since I dont want to totally eliminate it, and only go on it when I want to.